December 11, 2011

Happened, happening

Okay, where should I start? Ehmm, it's been quite a while. So many things happened of course. Not all good, but not all bad also. All are blesses. Okay, think I can recap some of what had happened and has been happening right now.


About work.

So far so good. I got new manager and the team has been trying to adjust with the new condition, new leading man. I try to enjoy every second of my work life. I travel quite a lot; bali, pekanbaru, dumai, duri, perawang, surabaya, lumajang, yogya and other cities. Sometimes between 2 weeks I have to travel in more than 3 cities, hahaha.. Alhamdulillah.. Here are some shots when I was in Bali.


on the plane, never forget my stylish sunglasses, hehehe




always love this view



guess where am I? hotel bathroom, hahaha



supervise the event


And here are more... I always love Bali, you know... =P










I call it travel in style, hahaha


I finally got a chance to apply to another department, in which I am really passionate about, brand. I have been interviewed twice and see what the result will be. Insya Allah, if it's my destiny, and Allah allows me to get it, I'll get it.

Another thing about work, I had been offered a position. It's a higher grade, higher salary and probably busier position. However, it's not what I want. This time I can say money is not everything. I have dream and goals in my career. If I take that way, I might get more money, but not getting closer to my goals. I've been taking an indirect path to get there, so I don't wanna be further than where I should be.


About family

My mom finally went to Mecca to do hajj. It was a short notice announcement for her, and for me of course. It's just a couple of weeks before the flight. She had to prepared all the stuffs needed in a rush, but alhamdulillah Allah made everything smoothly run. And I separated from her for 40 days! Lived at home only two of us, with my lil sis only. It's very lonely, no her wittiness, no warm moments with her, no delicious food, no mom at home. There were a lot of things happened when mom was there. One of them was she lost her cellphone, money and her ex husband, or... my dad. *sigh

Yap, when mom was doing hajj, I lost my father. It was November 3, 2011. I was on my way to a meeting in bandung when I got a phone call from my cousin telling me that my dad had passed away. For a moment, I couldn't believe it. There was no sign before, no illness, no hospital just like years ago. It was just the news that he had passed away, just like that. I had more bad memories with him that the good ones. But still he's my father. The sad thing was I couldn't cry, at all. I became speechless but didn't cry. Maybe all the things I had been through made me who I was, such a cold person with him. I was sad of course, I was just unable to cry and I couldn't pretend to cry. It's not right and it's not sincere. I forgive him and hope he's also forgiven me. Then after I saw him for the last time, I couldn't stand on my feet, I bended, I broke down and cried. That was the last time I saw him and kissed him on his forehead.

Mom knew it from her sister. I was afraid of telling her cause it might disturb her concentration. She was sad but alhamdulillah she could control herself and stayed focus. Allah has always a way to do such things. Allah took him when she was away doing hajj. They had separated but only in religion point of view but in the eyes of law, they were still husband and wife. I'm officially orphan now. Is that a bad or good thing? Dunno...

And now, mom is in the house again and start asking me on how I've prepared to get married. Okay calm down mom, it'll be soon of course. We're still on track. ;D




About love.

Hahaha, what can I say?! Allah has given me soooooooooooooo much to be thankful. I'm gonna get there anytime soon. Just wait and see... =D


About others.

On the 30th November, 2011 was a historical day for me!!! David Beckham finally visited and played in Indonesia! Yeaaaaay... Although I only watched his first leg game (cause mom also came home on that day), I was sooooooooooooooooo happy! It was a dream came true. He's my fave athlete after Ricky Subagja of course, hahahaha... He's not only a football player, he's beyond that.


one of the players is him!


There was a person who copied my writing in this blog without my permission. I don't like it cause she edited and reposted like it belongs to her. If you stop by and read this, please remove it or put my name on it cause it's my writing! Thank you.


Love u, life... =D

September 11, 2011

It's hard but it's not impossible

Getting over you is hard, but it's not impossible.

Getting over our hopes and dreams is hard, but it's not impossible.

Letting go of you and your family is hard, but it's not impossible.

Being ikhlas to see you happy with someone else is hard, but it's not impossible.

Being ikhlas to accept the fact that you've changed is hard, but it's not impossible.

Being careless about you and your life is hard, but it's not impossible.

As I always tell my self, this is Allah's will. All I can do is surrender, moving on and leaving them behind. I must embrace my own future with new hopes and dreams.

This is just another chapter of my life stories. Okay, maybe it is when the conflicts and all the drama are getting more frustrating. But, in other episodes there will be beautiful closing and nice beginning to start a new season.

Yeah, and still.. Love u, life. :D

August 07, 2011

Note it to my self


Tak mau lagi aku percaya
Pada semua kasih sayangmu
Tak mau lagi aku tersentuh
Pada semua pengakuanmu

#
Kamu takkan mengerti rasa sakit ini
Kebohongan dari mulut manismu

Reff:
Pergilah kau
Pergi dari hidupku
Bawalah semua rasa bersalahmu
Pergilah kau
Pergi dari hidupku
Bawalah rahasiamu yang tak ingin kutahui

Tak mau lagi aku terjerat
Pada semua janji-janjimu
Tak mau lagi aku terkait
Pada semua permainanmu

Back to #, Reff

Bertahun-tahun bersama
Kupercayaimu
Kubanggakan kamu
Berikan s’galanya
Aku tak mau lagi
Ku tak mau lagi huoo… Yeee…Hee…

Back to Reff

Pergilah kau
Tak ingin kutahui
Pergilah kau
Ku tahui

July 31, 2011

Welcoming 26th year and Welcoming Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah, 26 Juli 2011 kemarin gw genap berumur 26 tahun. Jatah hidup di dunia makin berkurang. Makin nambah umur cobaannya makin banyak, makin rumit. Tapi insya Allah semua sudah diatur dengan porsi yang cukup dan tidak melebihi kemampuan. Sesuai dengan janji Allah swt.

Di umur yg baru merasa belum kasih yg terbaik buat agama, buat keluarga, buat sahabat, buat pekerjaan, bahkan buat diri sendiri. Merasa masiiiiih banyak banget kekurangan. Masiiiiih banyak banget khilaf. Merasa masiiiiih jauh dari sempurna. Masih terus berusaha untuk bisa lebih baik lagi, menata diri, memperindah akhlak, mengikhlaskan hati, berusaha selalu bahagia dan membahagiakan, sabar, selalu jujur dan apa adanya, pasrah, dan yg pasti makin giat ikhtiar dan tawakal. Alhamdulillah banyak yang mendoakan, semoga doanya dikabulkan oleh Allah. Semoga Allah juga melimpahkan berkah dan perlindungan-Nya selalu kepada keluarga, sahabat dan juga kerabat.

Di tengah malam tgl 26 Juli kemarin, AeN masih datang membawa kejutan. Rasa bahagia, sedih, kangen, sakit hati semua jadi satu. Tapi gw ga bisa memaksakan kehendak gw sendiri. Kalo teringat rasanya periiiiiih skali, ingin menyalahkan orang2 dan oknum2 yg terlibat. Cuma bisa istighfar, cuma bisa sabar dan menelan semuanya sendiri. Beginilah rahasia Allah. Penuh kejutan manis, pahit, asem, pokoknya nano-nano, hehehe. Sekarang hanya bisa memaksa diri ini ikhlas dan tidak berharap. Sekarang hanya bisa mengubur dalam2 semua mimpi dan harapan yg ada. Sekarang berusaha sekuat tenaga untuk menata hati yg berantakan, menyembuhkan luka dan ikhlas, ikhlas, ikhlas. Allah sudah menuliskan skenario ini buat episode2 dalam hidup gw.



Daaaannn, besok sudah Ramadhan. Ramadhan pertama gw berhijab. Insya Allah semoga bisa selalu istiqamah. Sambil auratnya ditutup, sambil jalan memperbaiki diri. Teringat apa kata sahabat ketika dulu pernah ngobrol waktu dia pertama kali berhijab. Gw bilang nanti aja pake jilbabnya, jilbabin hati dulu. Tapi sahabat gw dulu bilang. Pake dulu na, tutup auratnya. Sambil kita jalan perbaiki diri. Karena kalo kita menunggu siap, kita ga akan pernah siap. Sampe tua nanti ngga akan siap. Kalo keburu meninggal gimana? *jleeeb* Walaupun baru beberapa tahun kemudian terealisasi, alhamdulillah masih dikasih kesempatan untuk berhijab.

Semoga ramadhan kali ini kita bisa lebih banyak beribadah, Allah memberikan rahmat dan hidayah-Nya kepada kita semua. Semoga dalam ramadhan kali ini yg melenceng dikembalikan ke jalan yg lurus, yang tersesat dituntun ke jalan yg benar dan yang tidak sadar akan khilaf dan dosanya diberikan hidayah taubat dan rasa sesal. Yang paling penting, semoga Allah meridhoi semua kebaikan dan ibadah yg kita lakukan. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim... Semoga puasa dan ibadah kita lancar ya.. Mohon maaf lahir dan batin kalo ada salah2...

Love u, life...


Biarlah ku sentuhmu
Berikanku rasa itu
Pelukmu yang dulu
Pernah buatku

Ku tak bisa paksamu
‘tuk tinggal disisiku
Walau kau yang selalu sakiti
Aku dengan perbuatanmu
Namun sudah kau pergilah
Jangan kau sesali

Karena ku sanggup walau ku tak mau
Berdiri sendiri tanpamu
Ku mau kau tak usah ragu
Tinggalkan aku
Huuu.. kalau memang harus begitu

Tak yakin ku kan mampu
Hapus rasa sakitku
Ku ‘kan selalu perjuangkan cinta kita
Namun apa salahku
Hingga ku tak layak dapatkan kesungguhanmu

Tak perlu kau buatku mengerti
Tersenyumlah karena ku sanggup

July 23, 2011

People Change

The revolves around the sun. Even climate has changed. And people do, too.

We always expect people to do good to us. To consistently revolve around our life without any change, always with positivity and nice attitudes. To always walk beside us with honesty, sincerity and non-stop caring. But like our mother earth, people change whether we like it or not. It's not only circle that can be 360 degrees, but also with people's. They can behave, act, talk, think, love differently.

No matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we do effort. Their hearts belong to Allah. Only Allah can do anything, even to flip their hearts just like a feather flying.

Ya Rab, please guide him. Please show him Your way. Please guide him to taubat. Please embrace him with Your absolute Rahim. There are parents who love him a lot. There's a brother who adores him. There's a family who cares so much about him. Please bring him back to his family. I love him and his family because of You, ya Rab. I beg You please... Amin ya rabbal alamin...

Love u, life.

July 03, 2011

Welcome baby Kirana Aqilah Megan

Alhamdulillah, Sabtu, 2 Juli 2011 jam 11.30 WIB telah lahir keponakanku yg ketiga. It's a baby girl. She's soooooo beautiful. Namanya Kirana Aqilah Megan. Kirana berarti cahaya, Aqilah artinya yang bijak, yang mulia dan Megan artinya besar, agung. Aqilah pemberianku lhooo, hohoho.. *bangga* Panggilannya Qila. Seneeeeng banget rasanya punya ponakan lagi. Semoga Qila jadi anak yg sholehah, sehat, pintar, cantik, selalu diberkahi dan dilindungi Allah swt.



Another story is what I've experienced in the plant. I work in one of the biggest cement plant in the world. Then, last 28 June 2011 I had opportunity to have a luxury tour. *lebaaay* I call it Tour de Kiln. On the tour, some lucky employees can go to inside the kiln. You know what is kiln? Cement kilns are used for the pyroprocessing stage of manufacture of Portland and other types of hydraulic cement, in which calcium carbonate reacts with silica-bearing minerals to form a mixture of calcium silicates (Wikipedia, 2011). Too complicated, huh?! hahaha.. To make it simpler, kiln is a gigantic machine used to process cements ingredients. Inside, the temperature is so damn high. It is really hot, just like a magma inside the volcano. Every once in a year, the kiln will stop working and it is scheduled to get maintenance. So that, it is always in its best condition to produce the cement.



Things I learned from the tour are the plant in which I'm working in is very advance in technology. And "Safety First, No Compromise" is not only a tagline, but it is well applied and obeyed. While it is maintained, repaired, checked, people in the manufacturing are so busy. Amazingly, on very uncomfortable situation inside the kiln, the people working inside are very tough! They're just superb. Bravo and salute!



Every journey has some moments. Moments are captured in... PHOTOS of course!! hahaha.. So, to capture the precious moments on the unforgettable tour, take some pictures and cheeeeeeze! =D



Anyway, we're now in July! It's my fave month, hohoho...

Love u, life.. =D

June 28, 2011

everything gets rougher, tougher, harder

Everything seems tougher now. To be honest, I don't know what to choose. I don't know how to trust you again. You've hurt me so much. You've lied to me, you cheated, you betrayed me, you broke promises, you faked vows, you were rude to me, you easily got tense, you didn't appreciate me, you fooled me, you hide the truth, you didn't prioritize me...

Tell me how to trust u after u did all those things?
What will you do to fix all things?
What can you prove to me?
You can do extra efforts? How? You never show me. You never take initiative.
It is what I want, not what you want. You don't do it because of me, no because you want to do it to fix your mistakes.
I want you to do it, I always tell you what you have to do. But you never take initiative, what can you do to make me happy, to make me trust you again?

I don't know. You can't remember how to be AeN, my AeN. You've forgotten how to be my AeN.

I don't know. It seems you don't love me at all. You just don't wanna get embarrassed. It is not because you want to see me happy by doing anything to pay your mistakes.

It's getting harder, really...

June 18, 2011

Game Over

I lost my black nokia 6300 that I unintentionally dropped in the cab. The mobile phone that's been a loyal company for at least 3 years. The 2nd 6300 that I had lost,the same tragedy as the 1st one. I didn't do my usual standard safety procedure, take a note of cab door no, while getting on a cab cause busy phoning. As a result, I couldn't track the cab.




Another Game Over...

June 15, 2011

On the Looong Weekend

What I did, what we did, what you did... ;P


All you can eat! Mari mengembem, hehehe













Sepeda aiiiiirrrr... genjoot, hehehe..





















Bought swimming equiptments





Working, meeting, eating













Meeting with the girls! *kiss&bighuug*




June 11, 2011

Alhamdulillah

Apalagi yg bisa terucap dari lisan dan hati ini selain alhamdulillah. Allah Maha Baik. Allah Maha Benar dan Maha Mengetahui. Allah membuka kebenaran dan menunjukan mana yg salah dan mana yg benar.

Semoga popos bisa insyaf dan berhenti melakukan khilaf yg selama ini dilakukan. Semoga niat baik kami untuk bisa segera menikah bisa diamini dan terlaksana. Semoga ujian kemarin yg melibatkan iblis jahat bisa menjadi pelajaran berharga buat kami. Semoga yg selama ini dibutakan mata hati dan pikirannya dapat dibukakan dan dijernihkan kembali, dibimbing ke jalan yg lurus. Semoga Allah memaafkan dan mengampuni perbuatan popos dan orang tersebut. Amin..

Makasih banyak ya kakak, ipi, mama, papa dan sahabat2 yg sudah banyak mendukung dan mendoakan yg terbaik buat Ina dan popos. Sangat mengharukan dan bahagia mendapatkan dukungan penuh dr keluarga popos dan keluarga Ina sendiri. Their love, caring and support really make me strong and ready to face anything.

Sungguh Allah Maha Mendengar dan Maha Mengabulkan. Allah mengabulkan doa orang2 yg dizhalimi. Allah, You're sooooooooooooooooooooo good to me. Alhamdulillah...

Love u, Life. =D

May 02, 2011

Congratulation

Congratulation, you've turned him into someone you want.

Congratulation for making him sacrifice the principal things in his life : honesty, trust, faith and loyalty.

Congratulation for helping him to be an actor, a very good one.

Congratulation for supporting him to keep lying and betraying me, his parents and our family.

Congratulation, you're the best.

=)

April 30, 2011

guess what

Feeling happy + butterflies in my stomach = What a day! :))

Hari ini hari apa hayoooo? Hari Sabtuuuu, hehehe. Ada apa hayoooo? Ahhh rahasiaaa, hahaha. Yang jelas rumusnya udah ditulis di awal tulisan ini, hohoho. Ehhmm coba tebak2...

- Masa2 pendekatan sm seseorang yg kita suka namanya apa hayoooo?
- Setelah itu, orang yg kita suka bilang sesuatu dan diterima terjadilah hubungan apa namanya hayoooo?
- Makin lama lebih dari suka apa namanya yaaa?
- Makin lama makin sayang terus jadi apa hayooo?
- Kalo hubungannya bukan main2 niatannya disebut apa hayoooo?
- Kalo udah serius, setelah pacaran tahapnya apa?
- Nah tahapan di antara pacaran sm nikah ada apa aja hayooooo?

Jadi kira2 hari ini masuk tahapan yg mana hayooooo? hehehe...

Let's play blue's clues...

Ada ini nih...


Terus, ada ini jugaaaa...


Petunjuk lainnyaaaa...


Diwarnai dengaaaan...


Dan..


Hihihihi... Kira2 apa hayoooooo?! ;D

Oia, ibu juga kasih beberapa oleh2 buat akuuuuuu... Makasih ibu sayang. Really love it. Mmuaaah...



Lalu, lalu setelah itu ada apa lagi?

Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm



Aaahhh what a day!

Love u, life. =D

April 29, 2011

dag dig dug dag dig dug

Cant sleeeeeep! hehehe. Mati gaya mau ngapain jam seginiiiiii... Deg2an besoooookkkk... hahaha..

Tadi sepulang kantor ke rumah kakak gw satu2nya. Ngobrol panjang. Intinya si kakak nitip gw ke AeN dan bilang supaya jgn sampe hal yg kejadian antara mama sm bapak berulang. Nitip jagain gw baik2 dan jangan nyakitin hati gw. Yah sambil sharing2 aja sih intinya, berbagi pengalaman sm kak dinny n mas vicky. Plus wanti2 agar kita tahan dari godaan syetan yg terkutuk. Amiiiinn...

Deg2an besok dan ngga bisa tidur sekarang. Bismillah...

Love u, life... =D

April 26, 2011

Lovely Evening

Sepulang kerja dijemput, mampir ke rumah nenek, ketemu sepupu endut, main ke rumah sambil nonton dvd and makan malem bareng. Oh what an evening...